7th Month: Hard Questions

A student I taught for 3 years died on Friday (3rd July), for a cause I’ve never believed in. This is because the organization involved is possibly Singapore’s most bureaucratic and least efficient. Such a combination never results in anything accomplished that’s worth a whisper. Singaporean guys know this one.

I shared with Wifey how he would have had really cute kids. He and his girlfriend had been together since secondary school and unlike most young couples; I saw them as two of the rare lucky ones who’d cash in their CPF accounts together.

I couldn’t fall asleep straight away last night. As thoughts like “life is so unfair”, “quiet bugger I could never get angry with” and “burying your child” went through my head, I kept looking at Wifey and our baby bump and I imagined the many dumbfounded moments I will have when “Honey Bear” is old enough to ask me the hard questions.

Should I be honest and tell her how I really feel? :

“You see “Honey”, life is unfair and it’s about “environment”. It’s really about where you’re born, into which family, with what looks, with what genes and with what mental capacity. We’re randomly thrown into our environment and we do what we can to make the most out of it. Religion is the seat in which we take stock of our environment and our level of belief in GOD determines how comfortable it’s going to be. Some years back, this young man I knew died tragically and many people spoke of how it was GOD’s will. In all reality, they couldn’t explain it and they just wanted to be seated very comfortably”.

Nicholas was the only child. He was 22.

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