Went to see Dr Khi yesterday and the baby is fine, I haven’t put on much weight *yay*, my blood pressure is a-ok etc… BUT the placenta is still low, nothing anyone can do about that, so we’re giving it one more week and then we need to decide if a c-section is the way to go. It’s disappointing, I’ve kept fit, my body is doing everything right (for once), the baby has been in the correct position since week 31, my pain threshold is all good but it really doesn’t look like I’m going to be doing the Earth Goddess delivery I was planning for. Like the April fool that I am, joke’s on me, not a mean, hurtful joke but still.
I’m trying to think positive… my hips won’t get any larger, my baby won’t have a cone shaped head, I won’t be all stretched out, I won’t get piles etc etc… it’s not working. I don’t want to pick her birth date, I want the adrenaline rush of getting to the hospital on time, I have these hips for a reason, no? I wanna watch the husband freak out while I go take a shower once the water breaks and I want to scream at him for doing this to me. I want to experience everything I read about.
But most of all I want her to come into this already brutal world as safe as possible and if that means that I’m gonna calmly (read: boring, uneventful, dull) check into the hospital, get an epidural needle shove into my dragon, not be able to carry Stomper for a while, not feel my feet for a few hours, have a backache after…oh and plus the oh-so-lovely scar… then so be it. At the end of the day all I really want is a baby that I can fall head over heels for.