I don’t get to look at myself often in the mirror these days, heck there’s no full size mirror in R’s room, I’m always getting ready to sleep and go to work in semi-darkness, so I usually go with how I feel and I don’t like feeling fat. Now I’ve never been thin, slim… BUT I’ve never felt fat,  yes, a lil chubby but I’ve always felt fit and compact. It sucks being fat, I don’t like it, it’s extra hard to do jumping jacks, my boobs are all over the place, my tummy is all jiggly and ohmyword my poor poor knees. Of course being fat and a greener shade of pale ain’t great either. So every Monday I stand in the handicap toilet to change after exercise class and I just wanna cry, never eat again, scream, pout, curse.

Then I read about Dave’s sister having to expel her fetus who didn’t make it 😦 the sadness and I thought about how lucky I am, I have a beautiful, healthy, crazy baby girl so how dare I complain about my weight! Well, I still hate how nasty I look in harsh florescent light but I feel a little silly. Can’t wait to get home and hug my RyBear-ness!


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