I Can’t Believe I’m Happy

I was thinking in the shower, yes I do that a lot, it’s quiet, I’m alone so no one can ask me for anything – sex, water, a kiss, to play, to walk, to pat nor to scratch. I’m alone, bliss.

I digress, so I was thinking now is my bosses are going to react when I tell, how the family is gonna react. Then it hit me, I’m happy. I’m happy I’m pregnant, I’m happy because this was the plan for Rylen to have a sibling. Part me feels a little guilty that I didn’t get to spend enough her & me time but this so so much better isn’t it? I was never very close to Christian, we were too far apart to relate and too close for me to understand what a gift a little brother was. Of course we got closer when we were teens but there was a whole lot of fighting before that. So I just hope the fact that they will be a lil less than 2 years apart that they’ll be closer and more connected. Plus frankly, with Stomper and Axl they both feel equally loved, I make sure of it and I’ll do the same with my kids. That’s right KIDS from someone who only ever wanted dogs 🙂 funny how life works out.

Also I’m not young, I want to believe I am but facts are, I’m not and I’m still amazed at how easily and quickly we got pregnant but this back and these knees have a shorter life span. I want to run around, bend, pick up my KIDS and toss them in the air, cos it’s so fun. I want to be able to catch them (although I can’t even catch Axl, sigh), I want to be able to try and understand what they’re going through when they are teens maybe even like their music (cos that annoying Justin Bieber will be long gone by  then) and I want to go back-packing and diving and sailing and wakeboarding with them so I’m happy. Things usually happen for a reason.

Now I can’t wait to see Lil Deux again on  the 27th Aug. Can’t wait to tell the family and friends and I got Rylen the cutest little top so she could help us tell everyone.  Stole the idea from Angela’s sister, it was such a cute darling idea 🙂

But this will be it, the factory will be closed for good.

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One thought on “I Can’t Believe I’m Happy

  1. Pingback: All Sick… :( « Blended Baby

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