Big Ol’ Whine

It sucks going to the motherhood forum and all these Mom are popping.

Oh I lost my mucus plug (not a myth), doctor says any time now. Then  the next day…  Waterbag just burst, on my way to KKH!

Or when Charlottes’ waterbag burst when she’s giving Mr Big a piece of her mind about Carrie.  Yeah, her dress is pretty much done for but it’s okay cos you wont see me in anything costing more than a 100 SGD anyways. Just give me someone to scold!!

Why can’t it be Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 😦 Why Why Why Why.

Instead, my poor husband has to try and makeout with a Hippo, cos you know sperm they say ripens the cervix, too much info? Then ‘they’ say, if you don’t like the idea of sex, get your husband a dirty magazine, give him some alone time in the loo WITH A CONDOM and then insert the contents of the condom into yourself…. ok, like ew, and frankly sex with a hippo seems a lot more inviting suddenly.

There will be coconuts to drink, mangoes to eat, kiwi’s too and pineapple. The only thing that’s missing from this picture is a lovely sandy white beach!

And DO NOT get me started on spicy food. Ever heard of indigestion… with heat. Not fun or funny okay!

Oh and wearing 3 inch heels when your feet have gone up half a foot size AND have swollen ankles… is a whole new level of pain.

I’m so happy that’s about it for me. Am I looking forward to going on leave, yes and no. No because I actually am okay about coming to work, my work isn’t terribly exciting, interesting nor important but I get paid – not much but on time, I get to have 9 sane hours to think, use the phone, internet, eat and speak like an adult and I have friends here. So yes, I’m gonna miss it A LOT.  The yes bit will kick in after the first month, trust me I still remember my dreams about coming back to work instead of staying home with a pooping, nipple sucking milk monster, who won’t allow me 6 hours of sleep.

Hope y’all have a good weekend!


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