Slimming Centre – Review #1

This was at Slimming Sanctuary at Tampines. First up, when I made the appointment and gave my full name, wouldn’t that raise a flag that this chicca might not be Chinese? Hence, not understand a whole lot of Chinese? Or pretend to not understand AT ALL just so I can make your sales pitch a living hell. Boy that was fun.

So anyways, I was suppose to have 3 sessions but I realised only two weeks prior that my Groupon was going to expire and most of their slots were taken so I just everything in 3 hours and miss 2 thermal wraps – no biggie.

First I was measured, weighed and had a machine tell me that 1. I have a good amount of muscle still (yay) but I should increase it by 2% … bet that should all go to the abs. Then it tells me how disgustingly fat I am all over, how I have water retention etc etc etc.

Then we did the ‘Divine All Slim’ This unique technology penetrates your skin’s fat cell layer to effectively get rid of fat, proven results with 95% of users reporting immediate improvement every session! Results may vary among individuals. Electro-lipolysis high-performance Double Action breaks fat tissue mass, reducing its size. Toxins and fluids are eliminated from the body, and ATP energy increase in muscles as fats are converted to Free Fatty Acid. – My mom has this thing from Osim that feels the same, those lil pads that are connected to wire and send little pulses to .. I dunno awaken your muscles. The girl said it’s like running for an hour and doing 200 sit-up. Hmmm, didn’t feel it.

Next up the Signature Activ7 Massage – they rubbed some slimming cream really really hard all over my tummy- ouch.

Turned over and we did the In-Depth Cellu Shaper, Deep Tissue Action (DTA) treatment is an effective body sculpting technique that works by combating fatty deposits that cause cellulite. Localized treatments are delivered through a series of soothing, mechanical massages that are administered using the concept of Negative and Positive pressure to treat obesity and physical shape management. DTA is proven effective in reducing the appearance of cellulite on arms, inner thighs, calves, abdomen, gluteal region and hips. – Ok so this one kinda rocked… it hurt like a mother, I was warned that my cellulite on the back of my thighs was HORRENDOUS (ok she didn’t use that word, I doubt she knows what it means but the way she said it… she meant HORRENDOUS). Now, I’m actually fine with cellulite cos I like bread, cheese, pasta and you’re gonna have cellulite if you eat that kinda stuff but it’s never been lumpy… these days when I wear my tights, I can feel my cellulite… yes, it’s gross, horrendous even. So anyway, this machine, I wish I could buy one and bring it home with me! It hurt, yes, and I have a high pain tolerance but get this IT WORKED. I couldn’t feel the lumps, my thighs actually looked pretty good… hmm…. for 48 hours. Yes, that’s the kicker, it lasted 48 hours only! I can feel the dimples coming back :(. I guess if you took the package it might work… or YOU COULD BRING THE MACHINE HOME! 😛

Thermal Wrap & then a Steam Bath. I don’t like wraps, I don’t like the amount of cling wrap they use, I cannot help feeling bad about the environment but I slept and snored for the 30 mins I was in it, cos I really am that tired, didn’t matter that whatever they put on my tummy was burning, I was snoring. Then they cut me open and took me into a very nice smelling steam room. OMG, I miss steam baths, MISS THEM! Like after a hardcore gym session, a steam bath is just bliss!

Cost – 10 treatments of wraps, massage, divine all slim – S$1120 plus 15 treatments of the cellulite buster – additional S$599!! Oh and they add in 10 steam baths… oooo. Not. Kinda expensive right? Here’s the kicker, they want me to come back 3 x a week to do these things… for  2 hours a time. Seriously if I had 2 hours x 3 times a week… I’d be at a gym.

My bad, I didn’t take my weight after, however, I bet it’d be mostly water lost.

My 2 cents on Slimming Sanctuary:-

Place – 4/5  … pretty nice but some music would have been a plus, I also don’t understand why local spas are mazes. Clean, nice smelling.

Price – $$$ … Seriously, they use machines, I think if I was really interested I could have squeezed a better deal out of them

People – 2.5/5 … You can’t sell if you’re a duck talking to a chicken, they should have known better, I didn’t understand half of what she was saying. She and the therapist came across as ‘just nice enough’ aka whatever

Push Factor – 2.5/5 … not much of a hard sell here, phew.

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